Tuesday, 9 August 2016

Reflections After One Year of Work

Happy Birthday Singapore, and One more week till I've been officially working for a year~

Time seriously flies. As I look back, I somewhat regret not ensuring that I had a work-life balance.

It doesn't mean I don't leave work on time, but in terms of what I do with that one-two hours each day after work before I sleep. It's so easy to just feel like I deserve a break from reality and responsibility because one day of work can be so draining to my mind and soul. As I move onward to another year of work, I'm going to work towards loving myself more in terms of nourishing my soul and mind with His word and Love.

I know I haven't been blogging, and that's probably cause I don't want to talk about work yet it takes up about 85% of my life right now. I'll try again~ Every day is a new start!!! :)

The post below was written around June?

***

Must we tire ourselves out so much that the moment we get some spiritual refreshment, nourishment and rejuvenation, we rejoice in it and want to savor it? Yes, we should rejoice and savor it but it shouldn't be a one off thing. Yet I regret to say that that is probably how I'd use to describe the past few months. I've been meaning to blog about these moments that I am thankful for yet hope that it will become more frequent, but I never found the right time.

Work in itself has so many things for me to consider that sometimes I am overwhelmed by it (in terms of the demands and expectations imposed by others or by myself) and I end up being distracted and being dragged by it. (Like going where the wind blows)

I'm someone who likes things to be organized, systematic (not rigid) and efficient, so when I am faced with a situation where everything is in a mess, I feel like I need to quickly clean it up.
This was what happened with the first BU I was handling. Other depts were chasing me for things unkindly, and cc'ing their bosses when I made mistakes but not doing so when they made mistakes.
I felt like the whole culture was seriously lacking in grace. Thankfully I held back my tongue and did not do the same to them though honestly I was tempted to. Felt like I was in secondary school or something, trying to outsmart people at their political games. But I couldn't be bothered because fine, if it makes them feel better about themselves, go ahead. I'm glad they feel more secured about themselves or their job position. I know I was doing my work and being kind/polite in the process of it, and if because of my supposed mistakes which I had to learn the hard way that I get fired, then it's not a company worth "selling your soul to" - not that I'd want to sell my soul to any Company cause it wouldn't do either parties good.

However, I have come to realized that when I feel like my own welfare is at stake, I end up feeling confused and start doubting people and the organization and I really do/did not like that. It was not helping my situation or emotions at all. I think I read about it in my books before, something about being passively aggressive. Of course, knowing that I serve the Lord and not the Company has helped me tide through the initial phase (it's still ongoing) and to help remind me to do my best even if the Company doesn't appreciate it.

Nonetheless, let's talk about healthier and happier things :)
Three weeks back, I spent 4 weekdays, and 2 weekends doing up a report - trying to pull data from various sources together. - Ok, that doesn't sound any better but wait~! :)

So one of the days I was on the way home late, and I bumped into one of the younger brother from Church and had a quick catch up outside the train station. Being so tired from work, naturally I'd feel like waving hi and by then just continue on my way. Yet inside me I knew I should stop and ask how was things - because I've been the older sister to him so it's not like I totally did not care about how he was doing spiritually and in relation to the people around him (family/friends/gf)? :)
Then the talk lasted for like 20 minutes? It helped that I could hear from him about his views and opinions about things and that I in return could be encouraged by how he is thinking and struggling to piece together his understanding of the faith.

Two days later, again after a long day at work, I was on my way home and met this elderly grandfather sitting at the bottom of the block and I greeted him as per my usual hi-by greetings.
I like oldies, such cuties! :) I told him that I had not seen him for awhile and he said he had some health issues so was admitted into the hospital. Then the conversation continued and he shared more about his life. I'm glad I could grasp the basic mandarin necessary to communicate with this elderly.
Although I was tired from a long day at work, and was feeling hesitant about continuing the conversation because it requires strength to actually listen in a conversation, I quickly told myself "It's these moments that counts for why we live another day" - instead of reports etc. right? haha.
(Well they each have their own time and place) In other words, it's the relationships around us that are dynamic and give us meaning in life - if we could give a little more attention to them. It's easy to be so caught up with work thinking that we're being responsible by working over-time for the Company. We're also responsible to our families and loved ones, to our spiritual and physical health - irreplaceable.

***

So moving forward, do pray together with me that I'll make a conscience effort to seek the Lord in being intentional with my time. Be it reflecting more or being obedient in doing what I know I should be doing. I seek refuge and comfort in the wrong things and end up going around in circles.
Sometimes all we need is a wake up call.

Monday, 4 January 2016

It's Been Awhile~

FYI, this will be a super wordy post~ Unclogging all the past emotions and thoughts haha.

June Update: After I ended my internship at the end of May, I was busy preparing for my sister's wedding (in July) which was a huge success! - measured in terms of how she wanted it to be like, and the experience for those who were present (which includes the Church ceremony and lunch banquet). It was quite an experience~ Photos on instagram~ haha

While all the prep I was also taking on a part-time job at a Boutique spa doing marketing and admin, more of the former as it was a period of all the magazine editorials. It was a new experience and interesting. It's one of those things on my bucket list in a dreamer's world just like how since young I always wanted to try working at the bakery but just to make waffles!!!
I know, such a silly thing. But I think it's about the experience or perhaps the idea of eating the waffles at work? heh! We're only young once, actually the best time to try out all these things is during University life. A bit of me wished I tried more things but grateful for what I've been able to try :) I think one thing I still haven't tried out is working in a cafe. I think most of the things I enjoy doing is meeting different kinds of people but in a comfortable and relaxed environment so people don't feel like they have to put up a serious/professional front and can be real.

July-August Update: After my sister's wedding, I began sending out my resumes. I edited, and sent, edited cover letter and sent. I did put in thought as I wrote my cover letter to make it relevant to the Company. I sent out like 8-10 and I thought that was a lot. I think I was quite thick skinned and assumed all would get back to me so I didn't want to have to go for 10 interviews. haha :x Turned out none got back to me T_T

That was when my sister shed the light and said she sent out 30 + and I flipped.

Monday, 1 June 2015

Good Things~

It has been ages~  No point repeating how I always wanted to update but there wasn't time.
Each time I have a little more time, I need to catch up on my beauty sleep. haha.
I have wished many times that I could survive with lesser sleep so I'll have more time;
it never works out the way I envisioned it. So I just have to work with what time I have.

So here are some happy things that I want to write down to remember~
Firstly, I received my driving license! Woohoo! Looks so pretty~ hahah.
I went to collect it late because somehow I didn't see the registered postage mailer where
the postman came to my home but I was not around.
*my stomach just growled, perhaps it is time to sleep~*

Well, I'm just glad I have it now~ :) Feels more official than the paper haha.
But I have been unfortunate, I have not had time to drive the car cause my Dad still wants
to be next to me until he has the confidence that I have the confidence. heh.
Nonetheless, at least I have the licence and I'm thankful for passing on the first time!
It's true, hope really hard for a less stern looking instructor. haha.

The second happy thing to give thanks for...is that I got back my result for HRM and...
I got a distinction, yay~ Now I have the certainty that I can graduate haha.
Even though I'm glad to have put studying behind me, I have to look forward...
and that's pretty intimidating as well.

All these thoughts about career choices, taking into consideration my inklings,
passion/interests, gifts, or the lack of it~ heh.
This includes understanding what kind of career lifestyle I want/need, why I want that, 
reflecting if it's in submission to God or to my own desires. 
So just, a lot of thinking and sometimes there is no clear cut answer.
I also don't have the luxury of time - partly due to the fact that I'll be "on my own" come June.
Okay, it's already 1st June. So I had to take on another part-time job to tide me during this 1.5months.
But I'll talk more about it once it at a later time :)

*

Wednesday, 27 May 2015

Mini Adventures~

Where do I start? I haven't been blogging the past week because I've been very tired after work
as I have to eat dinner, rest, practice a song or two of my piano exam pieces, 
then feed and walk the dog which takes about 1.5 hours cause the dog loves to walk haha.
Then I get home, wash up and settle some administrative things as projectD just started last week.
Then I head to bed to start off the next day~
Now that my helper has left, we've got to start doing the household chores again :p

Before I blog about my previous week, #throwback to a meal with just my lovely Daddy & myself!


While we waited, we talked about work, naturally he is concerned.
I'm still thinking~ :( But I'll start applying soon, I guess I just think too much sometimes.
Like I said, I dislike facing disappointments so sometimes I tend to avoid it which is totally not good.
Well anyway at night, my family went to our favorite Shanghai family restaurant.
I mentioned it a long time back but I'll not mention it again :p
Usually all eateries/restaurants on Mother's day would be super full, I'm glad we managed to get a
table, well of course it was considerably late, 8pm?
But we all enjoyed the food, especially the yummy fish soup! :D

*

So finally now I have some time to rest to consolidate my thoughts and just not be in a rush.
On Sunday I ranted a bit, but then I left it in my drafts as I couldn't complete it.
If I can't find closure within the one post, I find it hard to post. :)

So yes, the past 1.5 weeks of walking the dog was because both sides of the family went to Australia
for a holiday - without me because I can't skip out on my internship.

Wednesday, 13 May 2015

Be Thankful In Everything

Decided to take a break from doing planning work for ProjectD to pen down my thoughts from the past three days. I'm listening to this Madrid band, whose voices are so nice and the melody is nice and allows me to contemplate too, even though I have no idea what they are saying in Spanish :/ 
I think I've found a new playlist for work because listening to songs with English lyrics distracts me if I am writing emails haha but my colleagues need music or they will feel very sian cause we're working 8.5 hours. So sometimes when I do write emails I have to listen to the Piano guys. :)

So last Saturday, my Churchies celebrated my birthday in advance because L will be going on the grad trip I was supposed to go on but my Dad did not allow, because I am poor... haha. not funny.
hehehe. Sighs! But it's alright, after all there were more legit reasons to stay behind.
Consoling myself. haha. Me and my escape plan... it'll happen one day~ :) 
Actually I wouldn't want to stay overseas, I just day dream about escapades~ haha

Friday, 8 May 2015

This Too Shall Pass~

So~ It has been awhile. From my previous post I actually drafter another, something like a disclaimer and some explanation because perhaps I did not explain it properly. I was frustrated but I was still pressing on even though I've had so many thoughts of just quitting. Easy way out some may say.
Yet some can say otherwise. There'll never be consensus because there are different ways of looking at it. It just depends on which is of more importance to me.

I could have gone on another holiday during the last two weeks of May, but good for the company I'm working at, I have projectD (even though they don't need me there) but I guess it's only responsible to at least be physically in Singapore. haha. Perhaps one day, my escape pod will come again. hehe. Nonetheless, let's hope that sad internship allowance will tide me over for abit cause I wouldn't be starting work full time for June & July, in the meantime will have to find another part time job to tide over~

Well, on a good note, I'm done with school.
I was writing non-stop for 2 hours (okay with a few finger stretches in between 6 essays!) and I'm glad I could answer all the questions (or at least have something to say about it to keep writing).
Anything other than a blank mind is good :p
I felt free from the guilt of not spending any time I have besides working, on my studies.
Last Monday after my exams I finally could fork out time to watch a movie and was glad to watch the Avengers~ With my Sister, DW and DW's sister. haha :)
It's so convenient living so near each other.
I was feeling kinda tired from a day of work so my eyes were a little tired during the movie.
Nonetheless there was enough action in the movie to not make me fall asleep. :)

So these few days after work I can focus on things that I enjoy doing and don't feel guilty not doing haha. I guess it comes with the pressure of failing and having to fork out cash that bites.
I'm thankful it is over, yet a little hesitant about what will be coming by soon #firstworldproblems
I've been watching TV, handling some projectD matters, looking for jobs and reading their job descriptions etc. I thought I would get to sleep earlier now that exams are over. On the contrary I am sleeping later! I think it's because with school, I'm afraid I can't focus while I study, but if it's anything but studies I kind of don't fall asleep/get distracted that easily.

Then after about a month of being afraid and having no time to practice driving with my Dad's car,
I finally did yesterday night! My Dad sent my brother to the driving centre and then at the parking lot I took over~ This time I found out how to adjust the seat upwards so I'm taller :) Yay! I don't need a cushion! :) His car is pretty stable so steering wise it takes more effort to turn so I tend to be a little wayward if I could use that word to describe my control of the steering wheel haha!
So that helped me to keep calm and not panic!
I'm glad I didn't scratch or damage his car, I would have been executed :O
But I must say, he did have to guide me down at the narrow car park and in trying to park.
"Stop....slowly go down the slope...go a little to your side..." etc. haha. I'll totally welcome his advice.

So anyway, I should go to sleep~ Tomorrow's a pretty long day, I've got 4 activities planned back to back. Oh-boy. I feel like I'm making up for the life I lost due to juggling my internship (and 1 module) haha. But it'll be fun. I just gotta make sure I've got the energy!
One of them includes a cooking class at Takashimaya, yay! :)
Looking forward to that and hopefully I'll be able to take some nice pictures! :)

Goodnight! :)
Mother's Day is just round the corner~
Will have to prepare something not just for my Mumsie,
but for the other awesome Mothers I know ^.^
Ciao~
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